Ghastly Beyond Belief: Main Page
THE BLURB RHETORICAL
Following the Blurb Sexual there is the Blurb Rhetorical. This sort of blurb hooks the reader by asking a question which might be answered somewhere in the book…
How can you be sure that the man you live with is not a murderer?
carolyn banks, The Dark Room
(Ask him?)
What was the Earthmen’s answer to the chilling menace from the skies?
paul capon, Phobos the Robot Planet
(Er… forty-two?)
If they were not extra-terrestrial, whence did they come?
bron fane, U.F.O. 517 (Badger)
(Whence indeed!)
What was the rational scientific explanation for the thing that looked like an eye?
john e. muller, Dark Continuum (Badger)
(It was a nose in disguise?)
Who were these fantastic women… why did they disturb his eternal rest?
john e. muller, 1,000 Years On
(John E. Muller, like Bron Fane, Karl Zeigfreid, Lionel Roberts and many other names, is a disguise for the indefatigable Lionel Fanthorpe).
Could Science reclaim their GOLDEN AGE or was EVIL their inheritance?
rolf garner, Resurgent Dust (Panther)
Would the disembodied minds - doomed to eternal slavery - overthrow the corrupt System?
raymond f. jones, The Cybernetic Brains (Paperback Library)
(Yes, well actually they would.)
Was he human or alien - sent to save the Earth - or destroy it?
damon knight, Beyond the Barrier
Past, present and future. Does it have to be in that order?
george langelaan, Out of Time, (4-Square)
Was he a human meteor or a time bomb from the stars?
ursula k. leguin, City of Illusions, (Ace)
(Actually, he was an amnesiac alien come to free Earth from the reign of the evil Shing, but whether that would make him a human meteor or a time bomb I have never discovered.)
For what dreaded purpose did the tentacles of the Invaders snatch man after man from Life?
philip levene and j. r. morrissey, City of the Hidden Eyes
(They wanted to take over the world, of course.)
Could one man survive the destruction of Earth and find sanctuary on another planet whose terrors might be worse than death?
sam moscowitz, The Vortex Blasters, (Anthology)
(I’m sure he could, but unfortunately none of the stories in the anthology ever let on.)
Was this brain of pulsating cells completely indestructible, this formless horror which threatened the world?
victor norwood, Night of the Black Horror, (Badger)
(No. It wasn’t. Did you guess?)
How would it end, this strange forever, they were prisoners of time?
lionel roberts, Time-Echo, (Badger)
If the computer had a mind of its own, what did it plan for humanity?
karl zeigfried, Projection infinity, (Badger)
If Man can mutate - why not the universe itself?
karl zeigfried, Escape to Infinity, (Badger)
THE BLURB PARADOXICAL
Close cousin to the Blurb Rhetorical is the Blurb Paradoxical, in which the blurb writer poses a paradox so cunning that the browsing reader, intrigued, promptly buys the book to resolve it.
A super warrior walks the world, armed with the power to save mankind - or destroy it!
piers anthony, Sos the Rope, (Pyramid)
(Which will he do? you ask yourself, stunned.)
The formula would give the possessor eternal life… yet both sides were willing to die to own it.
richard ashby, Act of God, (5 Star)
With her lay the destruction - or the fulfillment - of the human race.
james blish, Titan’s Daughter, (Avon)
The Truly Amazing Story of a World Much Like Our Own, Only Startlingly Different.
j. harvey bond, The Other World
(Non-commital blurbs of this kind lead one to suspect that the blurb writer might not actually have read the book.)
Shackled by an accident of birth, he struck for freedom by unlocking the mysteries that had scourged the past.
kenneth harker, The Symmetrians, (Compact)
World Opposition - to oppose them meant death. Their aim - the destruction of civilization.
geoffrey household, The High Place
The frightening story of a split personality security man, whose developing fear of himself entangles him in a world of mounting violence.
robert maugham, The Man with Two Shadows, (Ace)
(Does he beat himself up? one wonders.)
He came back from Mars, with a secret too terrible to remember.
judith merril, The Tomorrow People, (Pyramid)
Planet Ericon’s life-or-death battle to rule the universe or disintegrate into cosmic dust.
c. l. moore, Judgement Night
His mind was disintegrating… the face couldn’t be real, but it was.
john e. muller, The Uninvited
There has been an accident - the Galaxy itself is doome!
stanley schmidt, Lifeboat Earth, (Berkley)
This incredible fantasy world had everything he could want and more than he could handle.
thorne smith, Rain in the Doorway, (Del Ray Ballantine)
2045 AD. He was offered eternal life. The price - a living death!
jerry sohl, The Altered Ego, (Pennant)
Alive, he was just another human being - dead, his mind was a weapon that could destroy the world.
nicholas yermakov, Jehad, (Signet)
THE BLURB IMPROBABLE
Then there are those blurbs which may mean something, but probably don’t.
Star Trek One - A chilling journey through worlds beyond imagination. Circling the solar sphere in search of new worlds and high adventure.
Star Trek Two - A galactic ticket to infinite adventure.
Star Trek Three - A mind-reeling journey! Eerie excursions into galaxies beyond probability!
james blish, Star Trek, (Bantam)
Weird… unearthly… terrifying… The creature VOR the first alien from outer space. The terrible stranger from worlds beyond the unknown - V-O-R - the ultimate frightening crisis on Earth.
james blish, VOR, (Corgi)
A milestone in the annals of science fiction. The 100th issue of the Sci Fi magabook from the land that gave US Metropolis, Fritz Lang, The Woman in the Moon… and the legendary Marlene Dietrich: Germany, via Clark Dalton, Wendayne Ackerman, et al, has given the Time and Space opera Fans of the English-reading world! PERRY! PUCKY! THORA!…
clark dalton, Desert of Death’s Domain
Now the trilogy expands to encompass a story too large to be contained.
frank herbert, God Emperor of Dune, (G. P. Putman’s Sons)
A million-to-one odds on the Earth’s alternate masters.
frank herbert, Green Brain
(What the blurb is trying to say - I think - is that there are a lot more insects than people.)
Firm and Earth are on a time track to destruction and Denning and Liston are asked to face the Alien, armed only with their brains!
phillip e. high, Twin Planet, (Paperback Library)
(‘Well, Liston, my brain missed. Throw yours.’)
Life without annihilating was depended upon finding another earth-like planet in the Galaxy.
j. r. powers, Black Abyss
(Not only improbably, but incomprehensible.)
An agonizing science fiction adventure.
norman spinrad, Agent of Chaos, (Belmont)
And finally -
Isn’t that the number in the Apocalypse. The Number of the Beast. Russian scientists go to inhuman lengths to plan a race of SUPERMEN.
john taine, G.O.G. 666